Relational Thought From the Week...

This week my wife is going out of town to take the kids to see her parents and grandparents, and I 'm staying put here in Dallas. She usually does this one or two times a year and it gives me a week to grab more relational time with students and leaders that I don't normally get. So Gavin (my 7th grade co-leader) and I are meeting all our students at the church, doing dinner, and then heading over to Adventure Landing for Go-Carts, Bumper Boats, Lazer Tag, and Video Games. This will be the second time I've been to this place in the last two weeks, and our guys love it. I also haven't lost yet in G0 Carts; the guys are constantly talking smack on me and I take them every time. That's probably not something to brag about, but it's always fun to win even if it's against a 7th grader. We've invited another 7th grade group to go with us, and we'll probably take them on (and destroy them) in Lazer Tag. Can't wait. Oh, and our guys tried to convince us to turn it into a lock-in, but we turned them down. Just another sign of getting old I guess.

Under the Radar Since 1999

Our friend Lisa has the most unique stories from her experiences working at Our Children's House. She recently opened our eyes to this reality and it just seemed too interesting not to pass on.

I never realized that you could train a horse to relieve himself on command.



P.S. The shoes are the coolest!

Wake Review for 4/27/08

Wake is our weekly meeting for Junior High students at Watermark. We meet on Sunday mornings at 9:00am on the 4th floor of the Watemark Tower. This week's Wake was really fun and (I think) really challenging and inspirational. Instead of a formal review, I'd like to share a behind the scenes look at all the things our kids never know about. This is an actual list of stuff that "went wrong" this week:

• Our Program Director slept in and arrived about an hour late.
  
• The volunteer Tech Team Coordinator was a no show.
• The volunteer in charge of our student band was a no show.
  
• The drummer arrived a little over 30 minutes late.
• The guitar player/lead singer forgot to bring his acoustic guitar.
  
• Nobody ran the dishwasher after making pancakes last week so all of the bowls, spatulas, pitchers, and wisks were dirty.
  
• We forgot to ask a leader to arrive early to help make pancakes so the job ended up getting passed off to the first 8th grade guy that arrived (scary).
  
• A potential new leader showed up to check things out and ended up leaving in less than 3 minutes. I didn't even get to meet her.
  
• An 8th grader threw up in a cup on stage during our game.
  
• Of the 4 High School Juniors lined up to share testimonies, one called and canceled at 7:30am and one was a no show.
• Nobody cleaned up after the pancakes were served and the dried batter was a mess.
• Our Tech Team left without turning off the lighting board, stage lights, flat screen TVs in the lobby, projectors, computer, or the sound board. And nobody locked up our equipment cabinet or threw away the program grids (and other papers) littering the Tech booth.

It's weeks like this when I walk away amazed at how much fun and encouraging our program turns out to be. We have a lot of really passionate and gifted people that inevitably seem to take up the slack and make things excellent for our Junior High kids.

Rite of Passage

Last night, Mike and I had the privilege of attending a "rite of passage" ceremony for one of our students. We have some incredible families that make this sort of thing one of my favorite parts of working with Junior High students. I am always so encouraged when I see parents, siblings, extended family members, and a community of leaders and friends rally around a young man or young woman to encourage and affirm their maturation.

Ceremonies like this typically involve the student making some sort of declaration that they plan to seek Christ and strive to honor Him as they pass into adulthood. They also usually include some kind of purity covenant (like this one) and requests for accountability in their efforts to glorify God with their lives.



Last night, I gave Mary a Transformers birthday card from Target and talked to her about how she isn't just a regular car driving down the road like everyone else...the life of Christ inside of her is transforming her into something really, really special. I challenged her that a non-conforming Romans 12:1-2 lifestyle can also be a powerful transforming force in the lives of others.

Good times!



P.S. Mike, Jon, and I all agree that a striped polo shirt is the most appropriate attire for this sort of thing.

The Most Annoying Song Ever

Apparantly 3 guys have made a scientific attempt at constructing the most annoying song ever. I started to listen to it, and wondered who in the world would waste their time with something like that. If you want to take a listen, just click here and it should come up in another tab. Just let it play and soak into your soul while you take a few minutes to enjoy our blog. Happy listening...

The Shape of Things to Come

Lost is back. Welcome to the war. We're all gonna die.

Promo 1
Promo 2
Sneak Peek 1
Sneak Peek 2
Sneak Peek 3
Sneak Peek 4

The Chick-Fil-A Project

Sorry to post right on top of Mike's post but I love this video and had to share it. A great illustration of how far Mike will go (and how much money he'll spend) for free stuff.

Perfect Timing...

Lisa Harrell was delivering the mail and just happen to be walking right below the 2nd floor window when a one year old baby fell on her from the window. Unbelievable. Watch this video, and if you're in ministry the news story is definitely one you'll want to file away for an illustration sometime...

My Girls Rock

It's been a while since I've posted some pictures of my girls, here are the two cutest little girls in the world. This is actually outside of the library they go to in a field...

More Than Dodgeball

Josh Griffin (Saddleback/Simply Youth Ministry Guy) had a post today about Junior High leaders sticking with kids into High School. I'm pumped to see this concept tossed around. At Watermark, we've basically "bet the farm" on the idea that ministry happens best in the context of relationships. We aim to keep the same leaders, with the same kids, in the same small groups from 6th through 12th grade. Obviously kids come and go but the relational focus is the centerpiece of our strategy. It has been such a joy to watch the life change that occurs as kids are discipled over a period of 7 years! I only wish more student ministries would start doing the same thing.

1 Thessalonians 2:8
Having so fond an affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us.

I encourage you to go read his post and also check out the discussion in the comments.

Blog Bullying

Some people use their blogs to bully others around with their opinions. I think I might be one of those people. Yesterday Advocate Entertainment/Ishine Records General Manager Troy Collins left a scathing comment on one of my previous posts entitled "Why Me?" He seems to think I was being a little too hard on some young ladies. I'm fully aware that picking on girls is the most shameful kinds of bullying, so let me explain...

Tongue in Cheekiness
The post was intended to be humorous...not mean. I created a fictional scenario that was not meant to be taken seriously, but its lack of seriousness was subtle. I was simply poking fun at the Christian Music genre and its constant striving to keep up with the ever changing landscape of the Music Industry. My ideas were based exclusively on reading information from the Rubyz press release and listening to the 30 second samples on iTunes. Specifically, I thought of the tongue in cheek post when I read that the girls in the group "were hand picked from hundreds of hopefuls" to "fill a void for the younger market".

I'll admit. When tempted to put my tongue in my cheek, I should also keep it locked behind my lips.

No Such Thing As Bad Publicity
I'd like to point out that my original post included a link to the iTunes Music Store where a reader could easily sample and purchase the Rubyz' music. I actually indicated in my post that the group would be played at our weekly gathering. I personally purchased the entire album and will be sharing it with a couple hundred 6-8th graders this weekend. Just because I joked around about the industry and just because I find a certain sound "corny", doesn't mean that I don't see a place for the music. And aren't reviews (good or bad) part of the deal when you put out a record?

Let's Get Personal
So what if the girls from Rubyz went to our church? Would I tell them they suck? Of course not...and I'd never tell the Rubyz girls they suck either. I would be proud of them for being selected, excited for them to have the opportunity for some new experiences, and I would encourage them to continue to exercise their gifts. If they wanted my opinion, I would talk to them about authenticity and artistry and their potential to blaze a creative trail and become more than a follower of the most current music trends. I'd also warn them that a lot of the other kids their age can spot a copy-cat a mile away.

Jokes are always less funny when you have to explain them. This is the longest and worst joke I've told in a long while.



Speak Out Reader:
Let me have it. I'd love your opinion on the Rubyz, my bulliness, or anything else related to these posts.

Shoreline Review for 4/20/08

Shoreline is our weekly meeting for our High School students @ Watermark. We meet on Sunday nights at 7:00 p.m. on the 4th floor. Here's my take on Shoreline from this week...

Attendance: Above Average
Fun Factor: Above Average;
Leader Presence: Average
Music: Above Average
Message: Above Average

Last night was our last part of our series Love Song and it was a blast. I told the story about the flaming pages of porn (see a few posts below) and turned out to be quite the attention grabber. The rest of the message was me teaching from 1 Thess. 4:3-8 and sharing my heart on purity and the importance of it. Bode did a great job with the fun part of the night, and we gave away free Chick Fil A for a year to Lauren Delph who brought the most friends to Shoreline.

You Can't Go To Church

In 1990 Acappella Vocal Band put out an album called What's Your Tag Say featuring a song that plays in my head almost every Sunday (Check out their stylin' album cover above - apparently featuring Kevin from The Office). The song is called "U Can't Go 2 Church" and here's a little sample of the lyrics:

"You can't go to church as some people say
The common terminology we use everyday
You can go to a building, that is something you can do
But you can't go to church 'cause the church is you
Cause the church is you"

This past Sunday, instead of our regular morning gatherings, Watermark held a "Day of Service". We told everyone to wear comfortable clothes and when people arrived we had 41 school buses parked outside our church filled with cleaning supplies and tools. We had thousands of people spread out all over the city cleaning up schools, tidying up parks, and serving people in need.

I was a bus captain/site captain for the Vickery Wellness Center, a Christian community program located right in the middle of a low-income apartment complex. Our Junior High ministry has spent the last 4 years building relationships there by hosting two summer day camps for the children in the community. It was so encouraging for me to be able to take almost 50 people over to clean the entire facility, make several repairs, and replace all of the computer desks in their computer lab with brand new ones which were paid for by over $2,500 in donations made exclusively by our Junior High students!



One of the people working with us mentioned to me that it was weird for her to miss church. I told her that we weren't missing church at all and that what we were doing was probably the most accurate representation of what a church should really be! You can't go to church...the church is YOU.

I Heart "Young @ Heart"

The movie is called Young @ Heart. We laughed. We cried. We actually broke out into applause during the movie (Even though I was fully aware that the people on the screen couldn't hear us). In my book, recommendable movies are hard to come by these days so I am happy to spread the word about this one.

My 3 step movie selection process:

1. Visit apple.com/trailers to browse potential upcoming movies
2. Visit movies.yahoo.com to read critics reviews on the Friday of the release
3. Visit screenit.com or kids-in-mind.com to screen for sexual content & profanity

I Wish I Could Have Been There

Well it's late and I just got off the phone with a good friend of mine who went to the "Together for the Gospel" conference in Louisville, KY. The teaching sounded amazing, and I want to post my favorite speakers from this conference. They are making these available for free, which is great because most conferences charge WAY too much for audio files. Click on the names below, download, and enjoy :)

John Piper
R.C. Sproul
C.J. Mahaney

My Response To "There's No Such Thing as Youth Culture."

I loved this post. I've also thought about it off and on today since I've read what David wrote, and here's my thoughts in a nutshell. One definition of culture I found on dictionary.com is "the behaviors and beliefs characteristic of a particular social, ethnic, or age group." I guess you could argue that there is a youth culture but here's what I've found in my short 8 years in student minsitry. Youth Culture is just the culture you're in.

Since I've moved to Dallas, I've noticed that the culture here is more fast paced than any place I've ever lived, people are more scheduled than I've ever seen, and sabbath is hard to come by. That's the culture here, and our students are living in it. I wouldn't call that youth culture, I would just call that our culture here in Dallas. I wouldn't even call Halo, Facebook, or text messaging specifically youth culture because I know tons of parents who are on Facebook, and lots of dads that love Halo (and they're pretty good at it). And to spend a lot of time dividing things up into subcultures like cutters, emo, jocks, and band geeks is, I agree, a waste of time.

Every week I see kids that are cutters that play sports, and somehow manage to play in the band or do drama. What do you do with that? What subculture is that? Yesterday I had a home schooler tell me that he had a knife pulled on him at his homeschool co-op. That's not what I would call home school culture. That's why I agree with David when he says that our students are "undefineable." And all of these kids can come together regardless of what they're like. It's because every single person was created to have relationships with other people. Regardless of whether they're a Christian or not. Our students are quick to see past differences because God has put a passion in them to get to know others. So if they're all hanging out with each other, do we really have jocks and chess club champions? I don't think so, but I'm going to stop wasting time talking about culture, and go build relationships with our students and leaders.

Scroll Down if You Want to Read About Ministry, This is About FOOD!

David don't worry, I'll respond to your thoughts on culture pretty soon, but had to share where I ate today...

My family and I took a trip down to Deep Ellum today for lunch. Deep Ellum is where a lot of indie artists play and it's a pretty different area compared to the rest of Dallas. But on the main street in Deep Ellum is a gem of a burger joint called the Twisted Root. It's one of the best (not the best) burger's I've ever had. Everything there is home made. They have amazing shakes there that have home made ice cream in them, home made buns, sweet potato chips, all kinds of good stuff. Here's some pics from our lunch and a video from the Twisted Root guys. If you live in Dallas you don't want to miss it. A special thanks to Clint Miller for turning me on to this delicious goodness.

There's No Such Thing as "Youth Culture" (So Stop Talking About It)

*Mike, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Can I get a response post?

My heart is racing and I have a lump in my throat. I've been blog stalking youth ministry experts and think I've read the term "youth culture" one too many times. I've had enough and I've got to voice my opinion...I'm no expert but I strongly believe youth workers should stop analyzing and defining kids and their culture. It's a waste of time and energy.

Let me explain...



In 2000, I worked at a camp for Junior High students. My friend Trac and I would perform parody songs dressed up as and dancing like members of NSync (remember, the boy band Justin Timberlake used to be a part of). The kids at camp loved it. Whether or not they were fans of the group didn't matter...everyone knew who they were and that they were the pop culture icon of the moment. It was fun, connecting and trust building for students to observe two older guys who understood what "the kids were into". Back then, MTV had a voice and TRL mattered.

In the year 2000, NSync's album No Strings Attached sold 1.1 million copies in one day and 2.4 million copies in one week, giving it the highest first week album sales ever in the US. I will go out on a limb and prophesy that their record will never be broken. Diversified album sales are just one tiny indicator of how things have obviously changed drastically when it comes to "culture" (shudder at that word) and will never be the same as they were in 2000. The idea of a unifying "youth culture" (double shudder) has quickly gone the way of the dinosaur...So quit talking about something that doesn't exist.

Today’s schools aren't defined by the jocks and the nerds. They aren't even defined by a "goulash of sub-cultures" as I recenlty heard one youth worker observe. Here's my observation: Kids today are undefineable...and that's what makes them so wonderful and our jobs so exciting. Like never before, teens are experiencing more and more freedom to be real, authentic, unique individuals without feeling compelled to fit into some clique, sub-culture, or social box. Sure...us adults (parents, teachers, coaches, youth workers, counselors, etc.) still try to put some pressure and expectations on them to become something defineable (something we can understand and be comfortable with) but they have discovered new ways to break free. So now, keeping up with them has become a great adventure!

I love the fact that the kids I know are constantly changing. To me, this means that they are getting closer and closer to discovering who they really are...who God created them to be. Instead of becoming experts in "youth culture", we are finally being forced to simply be expert friends to the individuals that God has brought into our lives. I think this is how God intended for us to love one another all along.

So, you wanna be a good youth pastor? Stop trying to figure out the changing "youth culture" and start getting to know the individual kids God has placed in your life. If God's brought more than 10 kids your way, get busy finding some other people that are willing to simply enter into the world of a teenager and love them for whatever they are and whatever they're becoming...with no strings attached. (Sorry, I had to use a cheesy NSync reference to close)




Speak Out Reader:
Do I sound like a stupid jerk in this post or am I on to something?

Flaming Pages of Playboy...

I co-lead a 7th grade small group with my friend Gavin and we had a breakthrough night last night. One of our guys shared some very real struggles that was going on with his family. What he's going through right now is really hard, and it got our guys attention right away. After he shared, another one of our guys (who's house we were at) basically said "I have a playboy in my room right now." After talking through how he got it and why he had it, I was like dude we should take it out behind your house in the alley and light it on fire. It took just a little bit of convincing and within a few seconds we were out the door with a few lighters, lighter fluid, and a playboy in a trash bag.

The funniest part of the night happened when the Playboy was in flames and the wind kicked up. All of a sudden there was flaming porn blowing through the air and the guys were yelling "grab the porn grab the porn, we don't want our neighbors to see it." It's a pretty funny site watching 7th grade boys chasing after charbroiled pages of playboy in the dark. Oh, and we had a visitor that night. Apparently we had gone late (which we do every week) and our visitor's dad was standing at distance watching the whole thing. After I explained everything to him, he really appreciated what our student decided to do. I later found out that the dad of the visitor took him to get ice cream after our small group and talked about the problems that come from pornography and how it will be a temptation his whole life. Pretty cool night. I love my job!

Planning Retreat Resource

I thought I'd share this resource that we use each spring to plan our entire ministry year. Our Student Ministries staff takes a day and a half at a phat lakehouse with a handful of key volunteers to assess the previous year and make necessary major and minor changes to our strategies and calendar for the upcoming year. Great things always come out of this focused time and I'm very much looking forward to April 25 &26!

Planning Retreat Schedule and Guide

Punch List 4/16

Here are the ministry related things I've been and will be working on this week:

• Summary of Mark Yaconelli's session at the Shift Conference
• Graphics & layout for our next calendar
• Overview of the planned 08/09 Junior High budget
• Details for my work site for this Sunday's all church Service Day
• Outlines for a summer camp I'll be speaking at this summer. The theme I've been given is "Decide"
  
• Finding the perfect hotel for our two Junior High "Connection" events
• Communicating with Junior High pastors from 10 churches who will be attending the Texas Large Church Form next month. I'll be the Junior High session facilitator and I'm collecting topics for discussion.
  
• Lunch meeting with a Small Group leader who is facing some issues with his group
• Coffee with a potential new leader
• Planning a wedding shower for Bode, our Program Coordinator
• Thinking about ideas for the future of Junior High worship

Shoreline Review 4/13/08

Shoreline is our weekly meeting for high school students. We meet on Sunday nights at 7:00 on the 4th floor at Watermark.

9 times out of 10 I leave on Sunday nights completely encouraged by seeing our students tune into God and connect with Him through laughing, singing, and hearing the teaching of the Word. This week was the one out of ten that I felt like my message was below average, and felt like I cheated our kids on part 3 of a series that's been a blast for me to do with our students. After a night of staying up late replaying my talk in my head, our staff was very encouraging the next morning and didn't share the same feelings whatsoever. I love the team that I get to work with. Here's my thoughts on the rest of Shoreline...

Attendance: Below Average (we're competing with a lot of things at this time of the year)
Fun Factor: Average
Leader Presence: Average
Music: Above Average
Message: Average

David has posted the two videos that we showed at both of our programs, enjoy both...

Wake Review for 4/13/08

Wake is our weekly meeting for Junior High students at Watermark. We meet on Sunday mornings at 9:00am on the 4th floor of the Watemark Tower. Here is my assessment of this week's Wake.

Program Outline
Attendance: Average
Fun Factor: Above Average
Leader Presence: Average
Music: Above Average
Message: Average

This was week 3 for the grand 9am service experiment. We continue to work really hard to make it extra fun for all those Junior Highers who had to arrive painfully early for church. The kids loved the pancakes as well as the fully stocked the "Guest Suite" for visitors so we brought them both back.

To start things off, we enjoyed a second round of "Mike Talks to College Girls" clips poking fun at our High School Directors unparalleled willingness to strike up a conversation with anyone and everyone. After two really fun fast songs, we showed a new video called "The Chick-fil-A Project" where Mike & Bode set off on an adventure to a new Chick-fil-A opening in order to earn free meals for a year.





After a stripped down worship set, I continued our series about serving called "Shape Up & Ship Out". I really tried to challenge kids to find a place to serve in the church. If you're interested, click here to see the discussion guide that the Small Groups use throughout the week.

All The Earth, Let Us Sing

Everyone's talking about the American Idol Top 8 performing "Shout to the Lord" two nights in a row for an audience of millions. It seems like a lot of believers are focusing on the fact that the word "Jesus" was substituted with the word "Shepherd" in one of the performances. Come on guys, what do you expect?

The thing that really resonated with me the most was the thought of those 8 individuals rehearsing and recording that song. How many hours did they spend reading and repeating those lyrics? How many musicians and producers participated with them in the process? How many times was the gospel spoken and celebrated where it is usually never mentioned? Every single person involved in that process, whether they knew it or not, had an encounter with Jesus through that song last week.

If you missed it, check it out. And download the performances because, unlike other weeks, the proceeds from these recordings go to the "Idol Gives Back" charity effort to support children living in extreme poverty. Click the links below to get involved.

Audio Single - Shout to the Lord - Idol Gives Back Performance
Video - Shout to the Lord - Idol Gives Back Performance

Pieces of Shift

All 6 of us headed to Chicago this week for the "Shift Conference" hosted by the Willow Creek Association. With two-thirds of the conference under our belts, here are my initial observations from the experience...

• Willow Creek’s architecture and finish out feel very plain & dated.
• Sarahbeth would call registration an “organizational dream”. It was very smooth.
  
• The volunteers at Willow are phenomenal. Lots of them. All serving and smiling.
  
• The emcees (Wes & Margaret) are very personable and funny.
• The main session program displayed a surprising lack of creativity (staging, video, transitions, giveaways, lights, backs, etc.)
  
• Two of the three main session speakers had very loose connections to the student ministry world. Their messages were good but lacked clear student ministry specific application points.
• Mark Yaconelli is very funny and hit a homerun speaking from an authentic heart.
• Chicago is super cool. The people at Improv Olympics were funny (obviously) and really nice.
• Kurt Johnston would be great at a press conference. He handled the Q & A at his breakout like a pro. He listened to questions and quickly and concisely picked up on and addressed the heart of the issue. I wish I could do that.
• Brandon Grissom is legit. His team (Sarah Mailloux and Aaron & Nate - the guitar boys) is also legit. They were very kind, accommodating, and helpful with questions.
• Jason Raitz is authentic and genuinely passionate about communicating to kids. I would like for him to speak to our kids.
• Matt Wilkinson is one smart Canadian. He had cool bracelets and I hope he accepts my friend request on Facebook.
  

The Peculiar World of Mike Shelton

There is a long list of reasons why "peculiar" is my adjective of choice when it comes to describing my friend Mike. Here's the short list from last weekend:

• After driving through the night to San Antonio with family in tow, Mike spent 4 hours buying and selling Final Four tickets on the street.
• He called his time spent watching basketball with his wife the "best 5 hours of our marriage." (Keep in mind they have shared a wedding, a honeymoon, and the birth of two children)
  
• After KU won the NCAA championship, he stayed up until 2:30am watching the exact same episode of Sports Center 4 consecutive times to see highlights and commentary.
• After the late night, he awoke at 7:00am the next morning to re-watch the entire basketball game.
• I missed the game. Mike felt compelled to give me a verbal replay of the event and literally started crying while describing the coach's locker room speech.

Like I said...that's the short list. Very short.

AFTER 20 YEARS...

WE FINALLY WON THE CHAMPIONSHIP. For 20 years Kansas faithful have been waiting to be the last team standing. I can't tell you how many thousands of kansas fans each year end the season full of tears, frustration, and 4 letter words. Well the drought is finally over. Praise God. You're not going to believe this, but I got to go see the Saturday games (and got an unbelievable deal). Here's some pictures from San Antonio...